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Joke of the Day

"Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her."

"What is the difference between snow men and snow women? Snowballs"

"Home is the place where you can scratch your butt and balls exactly where it's itching"

"FAKE BREEDS I'VE TOLD PEOPLE MY DOG IS AT THE DOG PARK: Venetian Dabney, Brown Feta, Waxbeard, Oxnard Pike, Blue Hustler, High Presbyterian"

"Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot is faster. Anyone can catch a cold."

"Hippies say the darndest things... What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job? Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)"

"6 was jealous about other kids getting notes in their lunches, so I put one in his: ""Sorry, I ate your pudding. Love, Dad."""

"Nice Fitbit bro. I didn't realize that they had a model you can wear around your ankle."

"Why did the prostitute join the Mormon church? She wanted a high paying missionary position."

"What are all sports in Africa called? The hunger games"