19708

Joke of the Day

"INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING."

"If you are what you eat Does that make Jeffery Dahmer a young man?"

"What do you call an Italian whore? A pastatute. I'll see myself out."

"How do you make a dog meow? Freeze it and run it through a bandsaw... MEEEOOOW!"

"Did you hear about the fight at the homeless camp yesterday? It was in tents."

"What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits? Speedos !"

"If I'm ever dangling off a cliff and your hands are full of mikes hard lemonades you better give me one so i can be refreshed on my way down"

"Sorry I'm late, there was a dad yelling at his teenage son for buying $90 jeans and I had to hear every word of it."

"What do call groups of the 5 most dangerous animals? A troop of gorillas A shiver of sharks A streak of tigers A band of Indians And a gang of niggers."

"Why did Adele cross the road To get to the other side"