19708

Joke of the Day

"INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING."

"Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics? Because he was Snow'den."

"I was in Nigeria browsing Tinder the other day It said ""There are no available girls in your area."" (Thanks Boko Haram)"

"Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia? Because he's Snow'd-in!"

"What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit? When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is ""eeeeuuuuuuu"""

"When people say they hate getting stuck in revolving doors: I tell them, ""you'll come around eventually!"""

"I'm so bored with life, I've decided to read the Oxford English Dictionary from start to finish. I'm past caring."

"Hungary conquered Turkey... They had to change their name to Full."

"A little boy came running into the kitchen. 'Dad dad' he said 'there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face' 'Tell him you've already got one' said his father !"

"I finally got my TV show commissioned by the BBC. Its where we film inside the cockpit of an airplane. Were filming the pilot next week."