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Joke of the Day

"Dentist: Ok, I'm going to start drilling. ""Wait! What if I have to poop?"" D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* ""Thanks I feel better."""

"What kind of moronic mirror thinks that Kristen Stewart is fairer than Charlize Theron?"

"The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured."

"When robots take over, information will be measured in terrorbytes. Just something I came up with =)"

"I imagine it's pretty humbling for someone who's literally taking part in their first rodeo"

"""The Interview"" Joke Kim Jong Un walks past a movie theater and sees a movie poster for ""The Interview."" He says ""I wouldn't be caught dead in that."""

"What do Asians do during an erection? They vote"

"""Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted,"" my dad told me. ""Are you kidding? Really?"" I shouted. ""Yup, get ready,"" he said. ""They'll be picking you up in about an hour."""

"What do you call a dog that doesn't have a life and hangs around the club for too long? A bitch."

"You know how to scare a bunch of bees? BOOBIES!!!"