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Joke of the Day

"What do Asians do during an erection? They vote"

"Nothing warms the heart more than a father teaching his son how to clear his history."

"What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad."

"You want to know why we couldn't put together an Eighties Music Festival? It was to much of a cluster-funk."

"I went to a Pantheist forest yesterday. I tried to read the map, but all it said was, ""You are HERE"""

"What should a teacher take if he's run down? The number of the car that hit him."

"He called me passive aggressive. I just smiled and left. Cut his brake lines on the way out for good measure, though."

"Apparently SeaWorld CEO has declared an end to kissing and dancing for its performing Orcas... Now those whales will know how I felt at my high school prom!"

"I accidentally planted some marijuana seeds on my farm It's all gone to pot"

"What does Santa do to dragons? He ""sleighs"" them."