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Joke of the Day

"When robots take over, information will be measured in terrorbytes. Just something I came up with =)"

"Did you hear about the tragedy in France? I was very confused reading headlines saying, ""Nice attack, 78 dead""."

"Have you ever smelled mothballs? How did you get your nose between its legs?"

"[sitting in doctor's office] It's bad news. You have a rare case of contagious memory loss. ""What do you mean?"" I can't remember."

"I was speaking to a computer technician. ""How do you make a motherboard?"" I asked him. He said, ""Tell her about my job."""

"Did some stand up at a bird sanctuary... They were eating out of the palm of my hands."

"Let's find out what pisses the crickets off and do THAT during the day"

"I put Red Bull in the hummingbird feeder. I'm pretty sure I just saw one go back in time..."

"Her lips said no, but her eyes said... read my lips"

"Han Solo had a much cooler older brother called Drum"