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Joke of the Day
"What kind of moronic mirror thinks that Kristen Stewart is fairer than Charlize Theron?"
Next Joke
"Are your clothes meant to scream out ""help"" when you squeeze yourself into them?"
"I might have Alzheimer's... But at least I don't have Alzheimer's."
"Popsicle sticks are depressing."
"Had a big lunch at Taco Bell. Off to the woods to prove a point."
"What do you call a tree if you don't know what kind of tree it is? It's a mystery."
"I hate when my iPod earbud cord gets hung on an object and it violently rips the earbud out and I get that murder-y feeling."
"Always a housemaid, never a house."
"A quote from the Father of Invention. Hi Invention, I'm Dad."
"I was thinking of opening up a restaurant that only serves burnt pizza its called Pompie"