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Joke of the Day

"What kind of moronic mirror thinks that Kristen Stewart is fairer than Charlize Theron?"

"Apoplexy... it's all the rage."

"One time I fell asleep on a pile of change. When I woke up, my face looked like Mount Rushmore. (This isn't so much a joke as just something that happened.)"

"Why do Jewish women love to be prostitutes? You got it, you sell it, you still got it."

"I can't decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation... I guess you could say I'm stuck between a Spock and a Picard place!"

"About a week ago, my Girlfriend developed anorexia Ever since then, I've been seeing less and less of her."

"""Let's walk over there"" ""ok"" -couple a cows"

"My girlfriend said a small penis was okay. But I still wish she didn't have one."

"What do you get when a fat guy and a butterface have sex? A Burka! He covers his body, and she covers her face!"

"If a tree falls in the woods it should break into a light jog so it looks like it did it on purpose."