195975

Joke of the Day

"if you collect ladies of the night [nsfw] does that make you a whorder"

"MY ROOMBA IS SOMEHOW LOOSE OUTDOORS AND I'M TERRIFIED OF THE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE ECOSYSTEM AS IT HAS NO NATURAL PREDATORS."

"How does the enthusiastic chef serve his burgers? With relish"

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, but they stay for the intelligent discourse about Benghazi"

"What did Michael Fox bring to baby Jesus? Parkincense."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, he's to short to be an essay"

"*adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms*"

"I hope it's not too weird the next time I get a haircut and the barber asks, ""So, how do you want it?"" and I reply, ""Like Ellen DeGeneres."""

"You look like a before picture."

"You call it nervousness or having the jitters. I call it, I think my body was possessed by a meth addict in detox. Samesies?"