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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I were fighting in the car We glared at eachother and I thought neither of us would back down, but in the end we struck an Accord."

Next Joke
 
"""omg you're covered in blood! are you ok?"" [cut to me blending a tomato but I cant get the lid on properly] you should see the other guy"
"A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem... He says,""Give me 2 shots..."" The bartender cuts him off saying,""You only get one shot."""
"How do you call a Jamaican mountain? High ground"
"What is Bill Clintons favorite instrument to play? His Whore-Monica"
"My card got declined buying toilet paper shit."
"What did the Mexican say when two houses fell on him? Get off me homes."
"What did Robin Williams do when he got to his office early? He hung around until his assistant arrived"
"Latvian girl can count Latvian girl count to potato. Is valedictorian."
"I met a dyslexic woman at a bar last night... I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock."