100946

Joke of the Day

"How do you listen to Taylor Swift and N.W.A one after the other? Make a mixed tape."

"Ladies call me the mitochondria because they kinda remember me from high school and i'm in a cell"

"What I hate about pasta is how they change the shape and act like it's a different food. I'm out to expose the fraud."

"Bill and Ted happen upon 20 fine young ladies... SCORE!"

"From now on when skinny girls say they're fat I'm just gonna be like, ""Yup"" & walk away."

"[PAPARAZZI] Bugs Bunny is it true u were shot by Elmer Fudd [BB]sips drink that's ridiculous water shoots out of holes No more questions"

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat."

"What did the seaweed say when it was in trouble? Kelp me!"

"Ten Ways To Tell If Your Kitchen Is Haunted: 1.) Flying forks 2.) Pre-fried eggs 3.) Fridge moaning/wailing 4-10.) Ghosts"

"I have some things I need to get off my chest. I've been letting things pile up on it, and I'm pretty sure I left my checkbook in that chest. Hay-ooooooooooo!!!"