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Joke of the Day

"Him: Ha! I got your ATM card. Me: So? You'll never guess my PIN. Him: Is it 6969? Me:.. Him:. Me:.. Him:. Me: Seriously dude, give it back."

"What does an army of fire ants have in common with a horny dolphin? Both come in waves."

"How do IT technicians prefer to be paid? Cache in hand."

"What is green and eats nuts? Syphilis"

"Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg and some days you're that guy who hit the propeller on the way down."

"My family and I went to visit this new zoo that opened up recently but they only had a single canine there It was a shih tzu"

"- ""... He accidentally drank some radioactive milk and became_ - MILKMAN!! - No. He became gravely ill and died. What are you? An idiot?!"""

"""Your resume lists the skills 'poor timing' & 'awkward'?"" Can I have a raise? ""We haven't hired you."" Oh. You're very handsome. ""I see."""

"Why did the Eagle go to store to buy some Rogaine? To cover up his bald spot."

"It's always good to know what's happening in astrology. When nothing seems to be going right, you can blame the stars."