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Joke of the Day

"- ""... He accidentally drank some radioactive milk and became_ - MILKMAN!! - No. He became gravely ill and died. What are you? An idiot?!"""

"A farmer walks onto a field, shovel in hand and starts digging long canals. The field groans and says to the farmer.. You're really irrigating me"

"When Michael Jackson's son was born, he asked the doctor, ""How soon can we have sex?"" The doctor replied, ""At least wait till he's 13."""

"I won every fight in 1st grade. Not because I was tough, because I was 13."

"I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didn't say whether it's a boy or girl. So I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt."

"What do you call a punchline that makes no sense? A Bobbitt"

"It's 2011. If you're still using a payphone, you probably deserve to be negotiating some sort of ransom."

"Anti-vaxxers make me SICK! Or they would, if my parents were imbeciles"

"When does a gas become a liquid? When it stains your underwear."

"NOTHING says ""I am batshit, incapable of relationships, bad with money & cannot be trusted"" like colored contact lenses."