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Joke of the Day

"It's always good to know what's happening in astrology. When nothing seems to be going right, you can blame the stars."

"What's the Best thing about Duct Tape? It turns Noooo! Noooo! Noooo!......to..... Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm."

"I went to Applebee's for dinner last night Our food was so good that I asked the waitress to bring out the chef, so they brought out the microwave."

"I told my hairdresser to just take a little bit off the top... It makes me more relaxed when I can see her breasts."

"Yes, Firefox. I will abort the script but only to save the life of the web page."

"Why are stock traders so good at sex? Same principal, you gotta pull out at the right moment or it costs you."

"What do you call a pirate who solves mysteries? A pirate aye!"

"In the year 2065, old men will say 'bae'"

"sometimes i remember i was part of the nsa hack back in spring / that all my data is currently floating around china and i'm like ""cool"""

"Why is Toblerone shaped like a triangle? To fit in the box."