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Joke of the Day

"Some days you're the Titanic, some days you're the iceberg and some days you're that guy who hit the propeller on the way down."

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"German sausages... are the WURST!"
"What begins with an ""s"", ends with a ""x"" and leaves a guy blown away? Semtex."
"Little kid next to me on a plane just ate the preservative packet out of his jerky, looked at me and said, ""Don't tell my mom."""
"Sometimes I like to sit on the floor, bring my knees up to my chest and then lean forward. But that's just how I roll."
"I lost two bagels on a public bathroom floor. Now they're pissed."
"Cannibals don't drink coffee. They have a cup of Joe instead."
"they played Twist,so I twisted. they played Jump, so I jumped. they played Come on Eileen ... and I was banned for life"
"My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof."
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Alickalotapuss"
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