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Joke of the Day
"How do you drown a hipster? IN THE MAINSTREAM! Hahahaahhaahhaahha"
Next Joke
"What rock group has 4 dudes that don't sing? Mount Rushmore"
"How do you make a candle really happy...? Blow it out, it'll be delighted"
"Why doesn't Jesus eat M&M's? Because of the holes in his hands."
"My labrador and my collie do everything together. You could say that they're great at collaborating."
"[in church] ""And Jesus, our saviour, died on the cross for your sins."" [vicar points directly at me & entire congregation collectively nods]"
"Why are elephants large grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white they would be aspirins."
"My teacher said he doesn't like imaginary numbers because the uses are limited. I asked him whether he was for reals."
"What did the electrical engineer do when she found out that she hadn't won the lottery? She soldered on."
"Whenever you're mad at someone, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Those 10 seconds will give you time to think of the perfect insult."