201013

Joke of the Day

"Why are elephants large grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white they would be aspirins."

"What do you call a terrorist with eight legs? An Iraqnid."

"To stay safe in a fire, remember the acronym ""DBOF"": Don't Be On Fire"

"How many people died on the Titanic? A boatload."

"My friend thinks he so smart. He says onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face"

"A suicide bomber in a pet shop A suicide bomber enters a pet shop and announces... ""everybody has only one minute to get out of here..."" Tortoise: Fuck :-/"

"What do you call a female redneck who is faster than her brothers? A virgin"

"I like my women like I like my programming languages. Visual and basic"

"When things are bad, remember: At least you're not as big an asshole as the guy who invented putting walnuts in chocolate chip cookies."

"fyi it turns out you CAN get kicked out of Jimmy John's for calling the sprouts ""vegetable sperms"" live and learn I guess"