85429

Joke of the Day

"Whenever you're mad at someone, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Those 10 seconds will give you time to think of the perfect insult."

"Q: Why was the belt thrown in jail? A: He held up a pair of pants."

"My wife got mad at me because apparently turn on the veg doesn't mean.. Finger her disabled sister"

"What do you get if you drink too much Gin? A double Gin"

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."

"RANGER: Remember, don't feed the bears ME (being attacked by a grizzly): OH GOD HE'S RIPPING ME APART! RANGER: What did I just say!?"

"When I was in college, I had sex roughly 5 times a week... but I had sex gently a lot more."

"Damn! I'm still writing Slovakia on my Czechs!"

"What happens when you bring beer to a BYU party? All the girls put on their panties and go home."

"What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba na na nas"