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Joke of the Day
"What rock group has 4 dudes that don't sing? Mount Rushmore"
Next Joke
"Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen that said 'Parking Fine'."
"Worst part of being sick? Sneezing while taking a piss..."
"My Taiwanese friend is very intense and driven: He has a real Taipei personality"
"Tim Cook: ""We're excited to annou-"" #Apple fans: ""We'll buy it."" Tim Cook: ""Let me fini-"" Apple fans: ""We'll buy that too."" #iPhone6"
"Nothing worse than, after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used Condom hanging off your dick... Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started."
"You know why I Hate Carpools? Everytime I go through a tunnel my wrist hurts."
"ISIS Awards Night The 2016 best suicide bomber award goes to Mohammed. Unfortunately Mohammed can't be with us tonight."
"Me: I just souped up my car Person: What kind of engine did you put in it? *cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one."
"Warning, Condoms aren't totally safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus."