1953

Joke of the Day

"The person who came up with ""happily ever after"" probably didn't realize humans would live longer than 34 years."

"Child services told me to stop using cigarettes as they are harming my children Fair enough, I'll just use an Ash tray"

"Q: Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens? - A: Because she wanted to mail a litter."

"Me ""Hey honey, I got hurt at work, Donna brought me to the hospital and the Doctors are trying to save my leg."" Her ""Who's Donna??"""

"A Roman Walks into a Bar He holds up two fingers, and says ""'l'll Have 5 Beers Please"""

"My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house.... I said Decepticons... She laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed I shot the toaster we all had a good time."

"My son: do kids that get bullied go to college? Me: no they go to the police academy"

"What's the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls. They're under a buck."

"My friend's name is Jesus. So if I go driving with him, can Jesus literally take the wheel?"

"What do you call vampires vagina? Cunt Dracula"