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Joke of the Day

"Child services told me to stop using cigarettes as they are harming my children Fair enough, I'll just use an Ash tray"

"What do you call a running chicken? Poultry in motion."

"Last night, I dreamt I slept with a co-worker. (sfw) It was just as I imagined...."

"Being an adult means never having to show your work on a math problem. It's as awesome as it sounds, kids."

"How do you get an elephant on a train? You take the ""S"" out of sub, and the ""F"" out of way. [Say it out loud]"

"So Helen Keller walks into a bar Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a lamp. Then she walks into the wa- ok, you get the idea."

"911 The American police have said they will never forget 9/11. Pretty hard too, I would think, considering it's your phone number!"

"How do you make hard cider? Put it in the freezer."

"What did the banker use for birth control? His personality"

"Apparently Mr. Skeltal joined the band Imagine Dragons. I heard they were going back to their doots."