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Joke of the Day
"What do you call vampires vagina? Cunt Dracula"
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"""This movie is so awful & unfunny I refuse to air it EVEN on a Saturday afternoon.""- No one at Comedy Central ever"
"A man was at a Christmas party in San Bernardino ... Everyone was on their best behavior, so when the man spilled his drink, he said ""shoot."""
"An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough."
"Police arrested two kids yesterday. one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off."
"Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your ""shake"" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake"
"I've got an inferiority complex. But frankly, it's not a very good one."
"Lindsay Lohan was released from jail early this morning and in related news, I still don't give a shit about her."
"School says strangers are handing out lick on LSD tattoos. I told my kids not to worry, no one is giving out good shit like that for free"
"scarlet joe hanson sounds like an old timey boxer's name. ""weighin' in at 182 lbs, 5'9"", the ol' black widow, scarlet jooooooe hansen!"""