195059

Joke of the Day

"I finally came out of the closet today... My mom then walks up to me, and says something to me. ""Holy fuck, How messy is your closet Joe? You have been in your closet for an entire month cleaning it!"""

"I failed my AP Biology test... They asked; ""what is something commonly found in cells?"" Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer"

"Why isn't there democracy in North Korea? Because everytime they try to pronounce ""election"" everyone starts to giggle"

"How do you seduce a fat woman? PIece of cake."

"Congress just passed a bill that makes it legal to murder those friends who respond to a text by calling you."

"Where does sans live? Sans francisco"

"[Giving a toast] ""It was when I was entering blackout that I realized I forgot the Plan B at home. Happy 1st birthday, you little accident."""

"I still use the word ""dude"". I don't give a dude. I don't use it right, but I still dude it."

"Two atoms were hanging out... ...and one says to the other, ""Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"" The other says, ""Are you sure?"" The first says, ""Yes, I'm positive!"""

"My father always told me ""Son, you are what you eat"". Guess i'm a dick."