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Joke of the Day

"[Giving a toast] ""It was when I was entering blackout that I realized I forgot the Plan B at home. Happy 1st birthday, you little accident."""

"If a blonde and a brunette jump off a bridge, who would hit the ground first? The brunette, the blonde would stop for directions!"

"What do you call pasta from the hood? Spaghetto"

"Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."

"Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman... But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become president."

"Three beans travelled around Australia together, where was their final destination? In Cairns."

"How did the frog die? He kermitted suicide. I'm sorry"

"What do you call it when President Obama and Joe Biden talk shop over a nice dinner? A government man-date. Boom. I'll be here all night."

"Ever had sex while camping? It's intents."

"Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him."