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Joke of the Day

"[Giving a toast] ""It was when I was entering blackout that I realized I forgot the Plan B at home. Happy 1st birthday, you little accident."""

"Is it normal for a doctor who sees your penis to yell ""MAGNIFICENT!"" --it's not, right?"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I cant jelly my dick in your ass"

"My mother-in-law has got so many double chins it looks like she is peering over a pile of pancakes."

"What do you call a pirate who is all out of reales(Silver coins)? Long Gone Silver... /drops mic"

"[gets kidnapped] Hold up, I forgot my phone charger."

"What can a man do that is physically impossible for women to accomplish? Orgasm."

"What's gray and comes in quarts? An elephant"

"Some of the weirdest looking Jehovah's Witnesses kept knocking on my door last night."

"How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a Soviet Russian?"