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Joke of the Day

"Two atoms were hanging out... ...and one says to the other, ""Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"" The other says, ""Are you sure?"" The first says, ""Yes, I'm positive!"""

"Why do North Korean statesmen make for bad lovers? Because they won't hold a public erection."

"What do you call the richest person in the soup industry? A boullionaire"

"A 9 year old patient in the hospital i work at had to have his leg amputated. He asked the doctor ""will my leg ever grow back?"" The Doctor replied ""sorry Johnny, you only limb once"""

"Are you Flappy Bird? 'Cuz I wanna tap you till you crash."

"*Whispers, spitters are for quitters. ~Wine tasting, you pervs!"

"And then the Lord said unto thee ""any social media site besides Facebook asking for prayers shall go unanswered."" Matthew 4:23"

"That awkward moment you run into someone in public that you know, and there is nowhere to hide."

"Me, as a judge: OK we'll take a quick recess now. *lawyers start discussing lawyer things* *I go outside and swing on the swingset*"

"teacher: there's no such thing as a stupid question me: are sharks just mean dolphins teacher: ok i was wrong"