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Joke of the Day

"I still use the word ""dude"". I don't give a dude. I don't use it right, but I still dude it."

"Jim McGuinn and David Crosby found dead in apparent Double Homicide, one Keith Richards suspected. It seems two Byrds were killed by one Stone."

"So you need Andy Reid to take you to the airport for an international flight... lol you didn't learn anything from 2004?"

"ME: You bring that cash you owe me? ELEPHANT: Oh, sorry man, I forgot. ME: No you didn't."

"Take a deep breath. Good. Now count to 10. Right. Now slap someone in their face. Nice. Feel better?"

"How does Bob Ross masturbate? He beats the devil out of it."

"Go hard or stay average"

"what happened to the cow when it jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction!"

"House arrest? You mean permission to excuse myself from social interaction? Oh no, judge. Please don't."

"What did the tailor say about her job? It's sew sew"