193935

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays up all night long"

"*sees commercial* ""Talk to your kids about drugs before its too late"" ""Kiddo. Kitchen. Now"" - Yeah? ""This is oregano. Don't get ripped off"""

"PROFESSOR X: Quick! Magneto, save that bus full of kids! MAGENTO: I think you've got the wrong guy. *turns everything purple*"

"Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion! "

"Dear Muslim refugees: just pretend to be Christian. That's what most Christians do anyways."

"Why didn't the cashier get the punchline? It didn't register."

"What's better than swinging a dead baby around a tether pole? ... ... stopping it with a shovel"

"Some say Obama is the biggest liar of all time.. I say, the person who chose the spelling of, ""Colonel"" is the biggest liar of all time"

"Just downloaded the Lana Del Rey emoticon pack: Sad :| Happy :| Scared :| Excited :| Surprised :| Giving birth ;|"

"Why won't alligators attack lawyers? Professional courtesy"