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Joke of the Day
"What's better than swinging a dead baby around a tether pole? ... ... stopping it with a shovel"
Next Joke
"Star Wars Spoilers (not really) Dumbledore dies!"
"If I were a Greek philosopher, my name would be Mediocrites."
"whoever thinks money doesn't bring happiness, transfer it to my account."
"I don't understand why ISIS is such a big deal. All we have to do is parachute in Chuck Norris, and within a month they will all be dead... It can't be done faster since he fights with his bare hands."
"Give a man a match... [inspirational quote] Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for an hour... Light a man of fire, well, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"Did you hear about the clever nun who got tricked? She was nun the wiser"
"Someone fell asleep next to me on the bus so I'm drawing penises on their forehead. Let this be a warning to all sleepy toddlers out there."
"The Cincinnati zoo has honey bees, sweat bees, carpenter bees, bumble bees.... But no Harambe"
"What kind of pastry do you need a thesaurus to eat? Synonym rolls"