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Joke of the Day

"Some say Obama is the biggest liar of all time.. I say, the person who chose the spelling of, ""Colonel"" is the biggest liar of all time"

"What is a ghost's favorite part of school? Spirit week."

"I recently won the local innuendo competition after coming from behind."

"Two dyslexic bank robbers attempted to rob the local bank today. (NSFW) They ran in and said ""Air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up!!"""

"I have caller ID for the front door. If you don't call me first, I am NOT answering the door."

"I had an imaginary girlfriend for a few years, but she ended up leaving me for my best friend. He had a bigger imagination than I did."

"PERSONAL TRAINER: How's your nutrition? ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse."

"""More like LOTION pictures!"" - awkward conversation in an adult movie theater before the show starts"

"I'm not saying my wife is fat... but I struggle to lift her photograph"

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide."