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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion! "

"Why did the stoplight turn red? Well, you would too, if you had to change in front of that many people!"

"I peed in an ocean, but I'm not going to tell you which one - you're going to have to take your chances."

"I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web... Because I'm going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!"

"What do I do if my bank won't take my blood covered cash? Launder it. Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/38kmj9/what_do_i_do_if_the_bank_wont_take_my/crwbpxe"

"So I had an exam today... ...luckily I remembered it was April Fools Day and wasn't about to get pranked by my professor. I'm not that gullible!"

"This is a fake tweet, someone asked me to put their # in my phone so I'm pretending to add it to my contacts"

"New Slogan for the Pro Choice Organization Cut out the middle man. Literally."

"*watching an old Lassie show Me: How come you can't do those things? Dog (mutters): If we had a well I'd push you into it."

"""Darling, your teeth are like stars."" ""So yellow and so far apart..."""