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Joke of the Day

"I've won the war! My pants fit! **Congratulations, have you lost weight?** _Even better... I've bought new pants!!!_"

Next Joke
 
"What is the last thing a redneck says before he dies? ya'll watch this!"
"Him: So what are you into? Me: *thinking of the newspaper cutouts of Justin Trudeau all over my bedroom walls and ceiling* Politics."
"WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea"
"If I had a dollar for every gender... I'd have $1.79"
"Q: What insect lives on nothing? A: Moths, because they eat holes."
"Reddit servers"
"i wonder if china has fancy plates called america"
"Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant."
"What gives a gorilla good taste? Four years in an Ivy League school!"
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