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Joke of the Day
"Reddit servers"
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"Why are ships' portholes round? So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face."
"Though my heart is a fist, I really do my girlfriend"
"The twilight of the German poets would be Goethedammerung"
"What is the difference between a horror fiction writer and a disabled physicist? Haw"
"I have hit the age where sex and choosing the exact right size Tupperware for leftovers are equally satisfying."
"In Hell, all of your Google searches post directly to your social media accounts."
"[leaving a birthday party with my pinata friend] i swear i didn't know they were going to do that ""Just take me home"""
"It's cute how my family thinks I'm playing with fire and I'm just trying to cook them breakfast"
"Winning an argument with a woman is like getting 1st prize in a ""who wants to sleep on the couch"" contest."