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Joke of the Day
"What gives a gorilla good taste? Four years in an Ivy League school!"
Next Joke
"So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)"
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 189,463 times, you're the editor of HuffPo."
"Going to see the new batman tonight, heard it got killer reviews."
"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose??? Full"
"What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip..."
"I saw a guy wearing a stovepipe hat the other day... ...so I said, ""Hey! Abraham Lincoln called and he wants..."" Then I realized, they didn't have phones in the mid 1800s."
"Me: The new guy's a lumberjack? Boss: Yep Me: He seems nice... Boss: STOP Me: I'll bet he's good at... Boss: DONT Me: random axe of kindness"
"Just walked by the place I had brunch last weekend and one of my friends is still sitting there talking about herself"
"You mail one pig fetus with a note saying ""I'm oinkers for you!"" attached, and suddenly you're 'psycho'. Whatever."