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Joke of the Day

"What gives a gorilla good taste? Four years in an Ivy League school!"

"Cop: Freeze! Suspect: Try and catch me! *dives into Olive Garden's bottomless pasta bowl* Rookie: We gotta go after him! Cop: No. He's gone."

"I got fired from the orange juice factory. I couldn't concentrate."

"What is the difference between like, love, hate, and showing off? Spit, swallow, bite, and gargle."

"I bought some artwork at GenCon, but I'm pretty sure I got ripped off. I swear they're all a bunch of con artists."

"I've heard of a lot of dumb criminals... but bakery robbers take the cake"

"The Sun's probably Asian."

"Why do I always say yes to everything? I just don't no."

"How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Flip it over"

"My friends think I'm weird for sleeping with a full size body pillow It's just a lot more rare to find a dead midget."