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Joke of the Day

"Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant."

"No Pornhub, I do not want to play poker. I'm at work."

"Two guys are peeing off the side of a high bridge. First guys says: ""Water sure is cold."" Second guys says: ""And deep"""

"How does a ninja shop for groceries? No one knows."

"Why did the entrepreneur decide to go into the landfill business? He heard it was a growing field."

"What did the flower say about the tree heading to the sky? He's on route."

"Ex-wife died in a car wreck yesterday. Didn't send flowers, thought might be weird to the family. That and didnt know other drivers address."

"Eating spicy food is like... Having your whole body sit down for a game of poker. Your stomach always wins while your sinuses and intestines get cleaned out."

"I was thinking about getting a tattoo... [one liner] I was going to get a tattoo of a cross on my testicles, but I thought it would be too sacrilegious."

"Do I speak German? Nein"