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Joke of the Day

"Dear Jesus- please let all my texts go to the correct person- Amen"

"Why did America remove the ""u"" from color? Because fuck u that's why"

"Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly."

"Boss - can you pass a piss test? Me - Sure...distance or accuracy?"

"Why can't the bicycle stand on its own ? Because its two tyred"

"What they're actually saying is ""I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"""

"So a muslim guy walks into a bar.. Orders a drink, quietly enjoys it and then leaves. What? Were you expecting a more explosive punch line?"

"Grandpa died having sex. His past words were ""Oh God I'm coming!"""

"I'm a necrophiliac... ...but my friends seem to be cool about it"

"My biggest fear is dying in a car accident that doesn't destroy my phone"