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Joke of the Day

"Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly."

"""Chocolate is so yummy it'd probably taste good on mothballs."" - inventor of Whopper Candies."

"The quietest sound ever recorded is the sound of a Canadian saying ""excuse me"" in a crowd"

"I used to have a friend who wanted to be run over by a steam train... When he finally was, he was chuffed to bits."

"Procrastination Kid in class: ""Hey, what does procrastination mean?"" Me: ""Ill tell you later"""

"I do not care how old I am. I am going in the bouncy castle!"

"Time flies like an arrow ... Fruit flies like a banana"

"My boss keeps telling me I've got my thumb up my ass... Considering it's an adult film, I'm not sure if I'm going to get fired."

"How do you know if a Chinese man has robbed your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later, he's still trying to back out of your driveway."

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung."