191833

Joke of the Day

"So I phoned the Amputee Hotline the other day I got cut-off."

"How do you spell 'way' with an 'f'? There's no 'f' in way"

"The best thing about the first day at a new job is nobody knows I only have one outfit."

"Finish this thought A man lands on his driveway, gets out of his spaceship, enters his home to find..."

"""Shrooms before brooms,"" I say to the coven of stereotypical witches who have quite magically appeared in my living room."

"If I hear a bang when I'm driving I just assume I broke the sound barrier. Not sure where all these dents are coming from though."

"Goodnight, sweet Prince. Rip in peace Prince."

"god created the world in 7 days well it took 9 months to create me so clearly im a big deal"

"Poor Chinese tourists have to buy souvenirs in other countries made by themselves in China."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar.. One says to the other: ""I can't believe I just blew 40 bucks in there."""