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Joke of the Day

"If I hear a bang when I'm driving I just assume I broke the sound barrier. Not sure where all these dents are coming from though."

"Why are there no good jokes about the Jonestown Massacre? The punchline is too long."

"I have an earning disability."

"I discovered a Star Wars themed sex technique... I call it the Hands Solo"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish."

"What's the difference between everyone and bullets Everyone misses Harambe. Don't know if this is a repost or not, just heard it from a friend."

"You, my friend, deserve a high-five...that's four more fingers than I normally give."

"Give A Man A Fish Give a man a fish and he'll say, ""This is incorrect; I ordered a Big Mac"". Teach a man how to fish and he'll say, ""What the fuck kind of McDonald's is this, anyway?"""

"How does a german get to the airport? He heils a taxi!"

"What's Gandalf's favorite band? A Flock of Smeagols"