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Joke of the Day

"Poor Chinese tourists have to buy souvenirs in other countries made by themselves in China."

"*Cookie Monster finishes cookie, looks into camera* ME WANT TO TALK ABOUT ISRAEL"

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's too tired!"

"How about the No Bucket Challenge? Basically you just give a charity some money and don't tell anyone about it."

"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia? He was snowed in."

"*Pauses Titanic during the most romantic part* *Turns to GF* ""You know, Contra was really easy. But I still liked using the 100 life code"""

"I hope England beats Iceland... Or they will be out of Europe twice this week!"

"I just killed 84 birds with 1 stone at Petsmart, totally destroying the previous record of 2."

"A guy walks into a building with his boss. Ouch. You'd think that at least one of them should have seen it. EDIT: A twist on the classic ""a guy walks into a bar"" joke."

"What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't? I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens."