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Joke of the Day

"Finish this thought A man lands on his driveway, gets out of his spaceship, enters his home to find..."

"What do you call a god who lacks self-confidence? An atheist. He doesn't really believe in himself."

"Did you hear about my cruel psychic Maths teacher called Moe who's great with a sniper rifle? He's a mean medium, Moe, with range."

"What is the best part of a blowjob? The 15 minutes of silence."

"Did you guys see the new $12 bill? I can't believe they put Harriet Tubman on it!"

"War doesn't determine who is right... It only determines who is left."

"The hardest part of eating a vegetable... Is the wheelchair."

"Happy Valentine's Day! So what's everyone doing with their cats tonight??"

"What's the difference between light and hard? Well, you can sleep with a light on..."

"amazing how folks can pinpoint the subtle floral undertones in a glass of wine while i'm like ""yo, is there mustard on this grilled cheese?"""