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Joke of the Day

"Goodnight, sweet Prince. Rip in peace Prince."

"I think it's weird that characters in comic strips always recite the alphabet to fall asleep... ...But it's even weirder that they always time it exactly fucking perfect."

"What do you call a guy with no nuts and a horn on his head? A eunucorn."

"Where do weeaboos holiday? Kawaii"

"You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I unfollow you. You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I block you. ""A Game of Phones"""

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A Seatbelt!"

"What do you call a dog that does magic? A labracadabrador"

"I asked a friend of mine what's the best joke he heard of. He told me to stand in front of a mirror. Still don't get it."

"I had a goal to lose 20 Pounds by the end of the year. 30 pounds to go"

"Remember when you were young and you used to blow bubbles? Well I heard he's out of prison and he's been looking for you..."