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Joke of the Day

"What gets louder if you enter it from one end, but quieter if you enter it from the other? A howler monkey."

"What's the Italian word for suppository? innuendo"

"Sorry, I can't take your call right now, I'm all tied up. -submissive's answering machine."

"""I shit you not"" - Yoda claiming dibs on the bathroom"

"What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails? Beast wishes."

"What's the difference between a penis and a paycheck? A woman will always blow your paycheck"

"What do you call an adopted ghost? Transparent"

"Did you hear the one about Donald Trump and the 7 pissing prostitutes? Because the real joke is CNN's journalistic integrity."

"Sometimes i think my life sucks. Then i look at the lives of others. Then it hits me. My life does suck!!"

"People need to stop asking me about my 5 year outlook I don't have 2020 vision"