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Joke of the Day

"Wife: why are you smiling? [realizing if Blue from Blue's Clues and Clifford had puppies they'd be purple] Me: I was thinking about you."

"How many redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5/7"

"How do you get a bass player off of your porch? You pay for your pizza."

"Why do they call a horse a horse? Because they speak English."

"How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!"

"What do you get when you step into the ring with Mohammad Ali? Too soon"

"Why don't they have a Phone Directory in China? Because there are so many ""Wings"" and ""Wongs"" they'd still wing the wong number."

"So I neutered my car yesterday ""You, what?"" Neutered my car ""..."" It's another word for fixed ""I wish I never gave you that thesaurus"""

"A man has a steering wheel coming out of his fly First man, why is that steering whell coming out of your fly? Second man, It's driving me nuts."

"I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking."