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Joke of the Day

"I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem."

"What are the magic words for making a spoiled asparagus edible? Impairagus Repairagus"

"What do you call a lousy psychic? Telepathetic."

"In hell, the thermostat is guarded by a bunch of dads."

"Joke I told my one-eyed coworker today: Me: What do you call a terrorist who's missing an eye? Him: I give up Me: A terrorst"

"Never bring a toasted sandwich to a senior's gym Or else you're going to have 40 people thinking they're having a stroke."

"A guy using Apple Maps walks into a bar... or maybe a hospital... possibly a church."

"Have you guys heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere."

"Santa has elves. America has China."

"Why is camping so much fun? It's intense!"