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Joke of the Day

"What are the magic words for making a spoiled asparagus edible? Impairagus Repairagus"

"Ever hear that story of the guy who scaled a building with only suction cups? Well he certainly was a **pane** to catch!"

"At my funeral, feed me into a woodchipper and point it at the mourners"

"It is said that wearing T-shirts make you feel cooler in Summer I've been wearing a dozen of them but it's still hot like hell. Damn."

"What is the cheapest date ever? Drive in reverse trough the mcdrive, so the checkout is on her side."

"Hug? Said the bunny to the oncoming lawnmower"

"What comes after a farting competition? Farty!"

"You know you are old when... You need a viagra first before having sex"

"You're spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked? No they've always been blue!"

"What do you call two jalapenos getting it on? Fucking hot!"