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Joke of the Day

"Why is camping so much fun? It's intense!"

"what did the fish say when he ran into the wall? Damn"

"The Martian, 2015: Matt Damon tries to prove how Irish he is by growing potatoes on Mars then leaving because he's hungry."

"Kids are worthless because they're short and poor."

"""Charlie, I want a divorce."" [in a black robe sacrificing a chicken on a satanic blood alter] Why?"

"What do you call a sour black man? Vinigger."

"What did Mr. Cena's fiancee say on their wedding day? No, John! *You* can't see *me!*"

"Why does Mexjco do poorly in the olympics? Because all the Mexicans who can run fast, swim fast and jump high are in the states."

"If my 6 year old tells me someone was ""mean to him"" I never know if they stole his bike or tried to cook him a healthy meal."

"So far it's been an, ""I look okay enough to go to Walmart but not to go to Target"" kind of day."