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Joke of the Day

"A guy using Apple Maps walks into a bar... or maybe a hospital... possibly a church."

"What do you call a potato that thinks he is in charge? A Dictator"

"General Lee didn't have kids? A parent Lee not."

"8 yr old: mommy, why are you laying on the floor? Me: I just did 438 sit ups. 8: sounds legit. I've taught her well."

"What do you call a vegetarian that eats seafood? An omnivore"

"My uncle started shouting at me about my ""misuse"" of emoticons and had a heart attack ;)"

"What do you call a gnome who dresses nice? A metronome!"

"You say, ""I think we should see other people"" like I haven't been doing so ever since we started dating."

"They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away Though if you don't go see your doctor regularly for checkups, you're bananas!"

"Based on the rate of sagging pants, it is predicted that by 2017, people will just pull their pants behind them with a rope."