1105

Joke of the Day

"In hell, the thermostat is guarded by a bunch of dads."

"It's stupid to just ask ""where"" a sorority girl is when the more accurate question is ""where in Target"" is she."

"Sometimes, I wake up grumpy... But usually I let him sleep."

"An iphone user walks into a bar, a hotel, or a field. He's not too sure"

"Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!"

"I before E except after C and In old Mcdonnald had a farm."

"""911, what's your emerg-"" ""The women at work have synced their uteri and it's Hell"" ""Sir uteri is not plural for ute-"" ""TAMPI EVERYWHERE"""

"Woke up to find a cruise ship parked right outside my hotel window. well if you think this is going to make me put on clothes you're wrong."

"I got a job as a stand up with a comic sans resume, but i lost my CV Now im a comic sans resume"

"Today seems like a good day to wash my hair and take 10 selfies wearing 10 different shirts so I can pretend I look human on a regular basis"