191722

Joke of the Day

"Jared Fogle's updated diet writes itself a Subway sandwich for breakfast, a Subway sandwich for lunch, and FUCKIN' CRAZY ASS 14 YEAR OLD COKE WHORES TILL DAWN!"

"as a kid, I used to think $1,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money"

"If a blind girl says you have a big penis She's probably just pulling your leg"

"I was going to tell a mean joke about EMT's but I didn't wanna get... ... carried away."

"Why did a surgeon go to prison? His medical license was doctored."

"What does a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little."

"AMA character from the Universal Studios Harry Potter world Really! I'm Sirius!"

"There are two things you need to understand to be successful. 1. Never tell anyone everything you know. 2."

"Student: Could I be trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I didn't do my homework."

"The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the c**kroaches and a book packed by Flipkart."