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Joke of the Day
"What does a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little."
Next Joke
"wife on facebook: homework with 9, he's doing so well! wife to me: it took him 8 tries to spell cake. CAKE. grab some wine on your way home"
"I made a device that lets me hear diseases. Hearing cancer is great and all, but hearing AIDS sucks."
"The pope secretly came to my house. He thought it was weird that I had so many Blu-rays still in the shrink wrap. I'll get around to them!"
"Oh God. Yes. This is so good. I love it so much I'm having a sarcasm."
"How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb? She says, ""Daddy, I want a new apartment."""
"Are anti-jokes still funny? Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead"
"Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented ""that sounds delicious""."
"In retrospect, when you look back at your own tweets, you cannot help but think how narcissistic you sound."
"What's a horny pirates worst nightmare? NSFW a sunken chest with no booty!"