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Joke of the Day

"Student: Could I be trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I didn't do my homework."

"There might be plenty of good food choices in College.. .. but you can't Top Ramen"

"Today is my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Really? Yes I've been married twenty-five times!"

"I have a dead budgie for sale You may want it, but it's not going cheap."

"What's grey? A melted penguin!"

"[interview] Ok, don't let them know you're naked ""Why are you naked?"" dammit"

"An Irishman offended everyone in the pub by making witty jokes about their mums. What was his name? O'Byrne"

"The label of this bag of roasted peanuts includes a warning that they come from a plant that processes peanuts"

"I want to get a medical bracelet that says, ""Shy"" so I can I just hold it up during social situations."

"Why does Anders Brevik oppose gassing the Muslims? Because he knows it's a waste of time, it's impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower"