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Joke of the Day

"Trump: ""Knock knock."" Donald Trump: ""Knock knock."" - Who's there? ""No way-Jose"" - No way-Jose who? ""No way-Jose getting over that fucking WALL"""

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"I could tell my parents truly loved me as a child. My bath toys were a toaster, radio and a blow dyer."
"What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo? A smokesalottapotamus Edit: [Found one in the wild.. ](http://i.imgur.com/c2Vt1sd.jpg)"
"What are Tony Montana's favourite trousers? Alpine Chinos"
"""Haven't had to use my brakes in a few minutes. Better make sure they still work real quick."" -- everyone in front of you on the highway."
"My leg brushed against the toilet in a Starbucks bathroom. Goodbye leg. You were a good leg."
"Normally I find Ted Cruz's message to be more off point But last night he proved to be undoubtedly a more-on candidate and a moving speaker"
"What do you call a mouse with cheese but no crackers? Cracka-lackin"
"Hey lady, did you know I'm a Pokemon? Because I Pikachu while you sleep."
"People say you can't live without love... i think oxygen is more important"